so. fucking. embarrassed.
this is how i’m starting the year… let’s see how far i can come :)
i’ve been unable to run for the past three weeks. it’s been miserable. i was sick and also found out that the problem with my ankle was tendinitis… which meant that the only way to get better was to do nothing on it. ughhhh. which led to a pity spiral of no working out at all and lots of terrible eating, with regret days staying on a raw diet and low cal. it was bad there for a minute. but i am back on track, and training started today! my resolutions this year:
Shocked at how much this applies to me.
The complete over haul in eating styles that we are ( he is..) going to experience when I move back to Florida. He seemed genuinely interested in getting healthier, which is fantastic! He was a little disappointed when I explained that we wouldn’t be eating cereal that changes the color of milk. Actual conversation:
Me: …and no more chocolate cereal. No cereal that changes the color of the milk at all. There are plenty of good for you cereals that are honey-sweet and tasty.
Dad: but the thing about chocolate cereal is that at the end you get chocolate milk!!
Me: no chocolate milk.
Dad: *someone kill me face*
VS ANGEL WORKOUT
In the end you might even look better than she does.
Need to save this for my post-run work out.
(Source: , via befitbeyou)
Two nights past, I saw him… The big him, the him I think about all the time. The one that I got involved with to forget about the one that I saw last night.
So here I am, totally enamored with two nights ago boy. And might I add, the evening was phenomenal. We bowled and he won, but he called me skinny. He actually apropos nothing called me skinny… Well e hugged me and squeezed me and then he said it. But that’s not what made the night awesome. That came later when I was snuggling into his chest and he told me that I was pretty and smart and fun and that when we were done with school he might have to track me down if I am not already married. I lost feeling in my toes from the rush of blood to my head and ears and cheeks.
He also told me I looked like a candy cane and that he was feeling suddenly very lucky when he got me back to his room. It was magnificent and I haven’t been that happy since the last time I saw him. I am still riding that high.
Cue boy from last night, original boy. Boy that I spent three years developing friendly feelings, and then real feelings, for. Boy who has a girlfriend who told me not to wait. Boy I can’t say no to. We talk so easily, unlike the other one. We know each other so well, we hang out well, and I haven’t seen him since May. He picked me up from my brothers house, drove me around a d all the way back to my house, a full hour away.
I was sleepy but he woke me up.
And then he left and now I am sitting here freaking out that I saw two men in two days (with overlap because I stayed the night with the other guy) and that I care very deeply for one of them but I am not sure which one. I am not even sure how to function right now.
Merry holidays to everyone.